What Happened To The Girl My Husband Married?

What happened to the girl that my husband married?

Well, to begin with this time around I wasn't a girl. I once was a girl (obviously) and I was once a girl, who at 19, was married - that didn't end too well considering we are divorced. So, again obviously, that girl (the 19 yr old) really DID change.

What happened to the bride my husband married in April 2004? Well, she's definitely gone by the waste side and I am *so* fortunate that she did. That girl? That girl was one who was so scared that someone wouldn't love her for who she was that she did anything and I mean anything to make herself someone who could be loved - regardless of the cost to herself. That girl was the one that when disagreements would happen would look down because she was afraid - shielding herself against the fear of either the verbal or mental abuse that would follow, even if in this situation it was never going to happen. That girl was so anxious about *life* that she needed to drink to handle the stress of everyday living.

That girl, I hope, will never come home again.

The girl that took her place is vibrant and alive. This girl is ready to take on life and live it as best as she can. She has no problem acknowledging when she make a mistake and doesn't live in fear wondering what will happen next. This girl is ready to love someone unconditionally without fear that it will be taken away (even if she still sometimes at night asks her husband: "Do you love me?" "Why?" "For forever and ever?" "Do you promise?" ) This girl hugs her children now at night and doesn't gear herself for the next awful thing that will happen but instead tries to live in the joy of the moment.

This girl, I hope, will never leave.

What happened to the girl he married? I don't know, but, if you see her, please have compassion towards her - she's lost and she's afraid yet she's a good person.

But please don't send her my way.

The above post was inspired by Michael Miller's book What Happened to the Girl I Married? the July book club for the SV Moms Group.

xoxo, sober mommy


Sober Mommy said...

Hi, I'm visiting from MBC. Great blog.

Sober Mommy said...

It sounds like your husband is very lucky to have married the girl that he did! You seem to be in a much better place now, and your courage, as well as your strength, is very inspiring! :-)

Sober Mommy said...

I'm so proud of you and your family is lucky to have you just as you are this day!

Sober Mommy said...

I saw this book on the SV Moms blog, but I haven't yet had time to look at it. Great insight.

And I love the look of your blog -- so cute!

Happy Saturday Sharefest from SITS!

Sober Mommy said...

Stopping by from SITS to share the blog ♥ !

That's part of "growing together" in a marriage...you should both grow together because you both will not be the same as when you got married.

◄Happy Saturday Sharefest►

Sober Mommy said...

Hey Happy Saturday sharefest.

Great to meet you, yes this girl the one who lives in the joy of the moment.

Sober Mommy said...

You sound like a great girl!

Sober Mommy said...

I'm glad that the girl who lives around you now is happy. I will take great care of the girl who married your husband if I see her. I understand her. We are one in the same. We are alike and have more in common that we both even realize. xoxo

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