Square Peg - Round Hole

For anyone that has a child that doesn't fit the 'norm' this post is for you.

Yesterday I spent a hour of my life that I will never get back outlining my frustration at the school system. Specifically, I spent an hour trying to explain, sometimes loudly and sometimes through tears, my fear that my middle daughter would be left behind by the school system because she is a 'square peg trying to be forced into a round hole'. Let me emphatically say that I fully realize that being a teacher is a difficult job. I realize that there are criteria that has to be followed and that there are requirements made by the state.

However...

Some children just don't fit.
Regardless of how you try and make them.

Is it too much to expect that school psychologists come prepared to discuss remedial options with actual, I don't know, SUGGESTIONS? Is it too much to expect that there be an actual plan that is written down, has obtainable goals, and has checkpoints that are more frequent than every two months? Does anyone else have a child who has problems getting thoughts from their head out and onto paper while following rules of grammar, spelling, and punctuation? What is the purpose of forcing a child who has reading/language problems into writing everything in cursive? Wouldn't it be better to, I don't know, get the grammar, spelling, and punctuation down before we want her to write in a format that, admit it now, adults rarely use outside of writing their signature? And math? Don't even get me started. Is it REALLY a requirement to force a child you know has to use fingers and toes to do multiplication tables to do these stupid 'timed' tests? Yes, I DO understand the goal - and it's spot on for most children - most children DO need to have multiplication tables at their fingertips by 4th grade. But honestly....is that REALLY the focus here? Wouldn't it be a better use of time to give her either the entire sheet and more time OR a smaller number of problems?

My point is this.
Darling daughter has to pass the 4th grade.
No matter what.

Bueller? Bueller?
Anyone ever go through this before?
I'm open to suggestions and this admitted narcissist is listening - please help.
xoxo, sober mommy

6 comments:

Sober Mommy said...

my daughter so far SOMETIMES exhibits these kinda tendencies but we've tried nipping them in the bud when we see them and it seems to work. her problem though is more laziness than anything else we think. i'm not sure what kinda advice to offer you except that just keep on keeping on. is there any kind of other school that maybe is geared toward kids like her that she coudl go to? or a different kind of program? i feel bad for you because i know this has got to be so stressful especially when you know your child is smart and just can' tget it out the right way.

Sober Mommy said...

Becky - thank you so much for responding.
Yes, there are other schools could use and I tried very hard to get her father to consider sending her to one for this year however, since he thinks I'm apparently either the stupidest person on earth or someone who's opinions aren't worth considering (probably a little both but primarily the second) that was a huge waste of my time. I'm hoping that if this year doesn't go as he has thought that we can readdress the option of another school??

I'm not holding my breathe but maybe???

Sober Mommy said...

well here's to hoping he'll be willing to readdress that then in the future. Because you both should be working toward what's best for your kid. hopefully he'll see that something else might be better for her.
Date: Thu, 10 Sep 2009 09:59:28 -0700
To: queenym5@hotmail.com
From: js-kit-m2c-ASFDDRGF2LDQALUSSGHUT35AU05G46EAJ16441SU0VL1B3I1HQC0@reply.js-kit.com
Subject: Reply to your comment...

Sober Mommy said...

Man, I don't have any good ideas, except for things I know you're already doing. Go above whoever you need to. Keep going up and up and up and up until someone listens to you.

I'm really sorry. I wish I had something good to say.

xoxo.

You know where I am if you want to talk.

Sober Mommy said...

OMG! I can help! My daughter is in 5th grade and she CAN NOT write in cursive...at all. I had her evaluated and she actually got approved to use a computer in class because her motor skills prevent her from writing neat enough and she got so frustrated that she didn't do the work. Her hands hurt, it was weird. Anyway, get her evaluated by an outside occupational therapist and go from there

BellaG said...

3 letters- IEP: Independent Education Plan! Get one, now! Then ask for accommodations like typed assignments, dictatio- whatever works for your family. There is always a way to modify the process so the main point of capturing their thoughts and creative expression can continue without being shutdown by narrow minds. You wouldn't keep braille from the blind- some brains don't process outflow the same way. ADAPTATION is key to surviving.

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