Why Fernandina Beach Can Suck It

First, I would like to thank you for *some* of the recent hospitality you showed while we were on our vacation last week - might I mention that it was our first in four years? Might I also mention that if we don't have this opportunity to take another for four years that our oldest child will be in college, therefore no longer truly a child?

However, I do have one complaint to make with you.

When we first we first arrived at Fernandina Beach we, of course, went to the beach - at the end of the road - you know, the one there at end of Sadler? As we pulled up, prepared to unload the truck with our *5* yes, *5* children I was so very happy to see that you, Fernandina Beach had finally understood the plight of the American mom.

You allowed parking on the beach.

This might sound trivial to some but for me it was like manna from heaven. Are you aware,
Fernandina Beach, what all is needed to take *5* kids to the beach for a day? It's almost like packing your house to go on vacation, only add additional inflated beach toys and half your refrigerator contents into a cooler. Imagine my happiness when I saw that I wouldn't have to unload our *5* children and then unload the chairs, tent, food/drinks, inflatables. It was heaven.

Thank you for allowing us one beach day to remember. I'll tell you - watching my 9 year old daughter frolic in the waves with her 13 and 14 year old siblings was something that made my cynical heart smile. I enjoyed too watching my 12 year old play with her baby sister in the sand.

For the next couple of days we went about our vacation, enjoying the pool, the local dining (oh and have I mentioned that I have *5* children? Do you know how much a tab is for basically 6 adults and a baby? Let me inform you - it runs basically $125-150, per trip) movies and putt-putt. As far as the beach goes, it was fun walking down to the beach in the late afternoon (you know when most other people are already gone) to play with the kids one on one.

It probably goes without saying that our last family
beach visit had been carefully scouted out by my husband and my son - they wanted to perfect beach. We packed up the truck again (again, mom was blissful in her knowledge that you could park on the beach) and headed out. The kids were singing along in the car with the windows open, everyone was getting along. Pulling in I thought were were going to have a great family day.

Until we met you - Nassau County Sheriff's deputy (I'll leave you nameless).

Yes, I guess we were a target seeing as how we had a Georgia tag - yes, I'm sure we looked like someone who probably was from out of town and thus maybe not too familiar with
Fernandina Beach. I'll tell you following us down that down that beach while we searched for a perfect spot was genius on your part. It was crafty how you waited until my husband pulled the truck into a space so we wouldn't notice you whipping in beside us. I like how you didn't wait for us to get out of car (thanks for that!) but rather demanded to see our beach pass while we were still sitting ducks. Upon finding out that we didn't know that you had to have such an item I really appreciate your taking the time to go ahead and WRITE US THAT TICKET rather than just telling us that we needed one and how to obtain said pass. Thanks too for telling us that if we had just been 'driving' on the beach it would have been fine but the moment we attempted to park (I guess you don't have to get out) well, then, we were in violation.

Finally, thanks for then telling my husband this that the fine for ticket was over a hundred dollars. Just in case someone in Fernandina Beach hasn't done the math that's roughly 20 times the cost of the pass. I like too how the fine is $100 - just enough to piss you off yet not enough to make you actually come back to Fernandina Beach to fight it. I think that what I enjoyed most of all though was you telling us that you were sorry you inconvenienced us and that we could stay seeing as though we had already gotten the ticket. I hope you understand when my husband was not really very excited about staying at that point.

And, with that, our family vacation was over.

Why you may ask?

You see
Fernandina Beach for a family of *5* children an additional hundred dollars is a big deal. No more eating out, no more putt putt (please read: NO MORE MONEY INTO YOUR LOCAL ECONOMY) no more fun.

Family Vacation, done.
Fun? It's still open for discussion.

xoxo, sober mommy


Sober Mommy said...

Seriously, dude. It is HARD to leave you a comment! Especially considering that my said comment was comprised entirely of one word: "asshole". (the cop, not you of course. Ugh, you know what I mean. I'm so confused by your comment login that I have to go now.)

Sober Mommy said...

man that totally sucks. screw them. and sorry!

Anonymous said...

LOVE this!
My name is Jane and I'm with Dwellable.
I was looking for blog posts about Fernandina Beach to share on our site and I came across your post...If you're open to it, shoot me an email at jane(at)dwellable(dot)com.
Hope to hear from you :)

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