Sometimes It Sucks To Be Different

Not usually. But sometimes.

All my life I've been different for some reason. Most of reasons were not really what you call 'true' reasons and probably really didn't make me different in others eyes but to me I felt different.

It changed the way that I felt of myself and the way that I acted towards others.

As an adult I've tried to 'get over myself' to 'not care what people think' but you know what? It's difficult sometimes. It's difficult to be the walnut in a land of almonds. (I know, stupid analogy.)

So where am I going with all this?

Over the last few days with BlogHer going on sobriety has been forefront in my mind. In fact, I've though about it constantly. Things like: would it make it so that no one wants to room with me? Will I be able to participate fully? I keep thinking that, in another year, I'll have 4 years of sobriety - certainly that will help.

WHY do I care about these things? UGH!

In my 'rational' mind I know that anyone who is my friend should certainly understand if I leave a function early - I mean honestly, I don't even think that they would KNOW much less care. I know that most adults understand that it's probably not the easiest thing to do to watch others enjoy something that they can't have. I know that there are those who (GASP) don't drink for other reasons, moral or maybe health reasons.

I know that I won't be alone.

But still......
Only roughly 365 more days until BlogHer '10 - let the panic attacks start now.
xoxo, sober mommy


Sober Mommy said...

I can totally see your point. I have recently stopped drinking... mostly for weight and overall "don't wanna feel like crap the next day" reasons. It just doesn't appeal to me... Save for the occasional glass of wine, I'm over it.

The reactions I've gotten from people fall into three distinct categories...

1. The concerned:

They put their hand on your arm, lower their voice, and ask if you are in recovery... or pregnant.

2. The don't-get-its:

They just can't understand why... they furrow their brow and ask fifteen different questions... then just shrug their shoulders and walk away.

3. The aghast:

They snort and throw their head back, not able to believe WHY ANYONE wouldn't want to drink... then usually say something like "awww come on, have a drink you pussy!"

SO... I know how annoying those responses are to ME, and it must be even more difficult for YOU. That said... if even your most favorite blogger in the whole wide world cannot understand why you are not drinking, then it's someone who is not worth your time anyway. I would hope that overall, they'd be much more understanding. :)

See you at BlogHer '10!

Sober Mommy said...

I'd never fault you. My parents are both recovering alcoholics.

Sober Mommy said...

I hope you know that no matter what I love you. And I'd room with you and I'd join you for a weekend of sobriety while at blogHer. I'm so sorry I wasn't better at calling you this weekend. Let's talk soon. xoxo Love you.

Sober Mommy said...

I'm not a recovering alcoholic, but I don't drink. I have other anxieties about going to blogher (not cool enough, no one reads my blog so what's the point, etc. I think it would be a neat experience but those anxieties and my shyness are keeping me from going) but the thought of being around a bunch of drunk people so does not thrill me. I don't drink because I don't like alcohol, so going to cocktail parties is probably the last thing I'd want to do. Or I'd be the lame one drinking diet Pepsi the whole time and wishing I was having as much fun as everyone else.

Sober Mommy said...

I know that it sounds like it was a drunkfest, but it really wasn't. It's what YOU make of it, and you have to find your tribe. (Yes, there were a few that made it a drunkfest, but they were few and far between!) I drink, but only moderately so, and never had more than a few glasses a night (over several hours.) Most people I know did this too. You would be fine, and those that don't/wouldn't understand can pound sand. I would totally hang with you, and without that glass because I wouldn't want you to feel weird-I'd want to talk and for you to feel comfortable with me. Alas, I'm probably not going next year anyway so it may not matter. *sigh*

Sober Mommy said...

i think anyone who truly considers you a friend would WANT to encourage you in your sobriety and totally understand you not drinking or leaving a party early to avoid temptation! here's to you having a great time next year!

Sober Mommy said...

People are so worried about themselves, they won't even notice or care you aren't drinking unless you make a big deal about it. Though it can be hard to find a non alcoholic beverage after 6 pm.

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